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Thursday 11 July 2013

Mole Men Close Road

We have received an e-mail claiming to be from Scott Glover, Assistant Highway Engineer for Hampshire Council. I actually suspect it is from our old friend the Master of the Mole Men.
Scott/Mole Master said: As part of the programme of works being undertaken by Operation Resilience we will be undertaking carriageway resurfacing in B3058 Lymington Road from A337 junction to Barnes Lane. The works are programmed to start on Thursday 11 July 2013 and are expected to last for 13 nights. In order to undertake the works safely it will be necessary to close the road from approximately 19:00 to 07:00hrs. The road will be open to through traffic during the day and weekends.

The signed, approved diversion is along the B3058 Cliff Road and A337 Lymington/Christchurch Road. There will however be approximately 3/4 nights when the A337 junction with B3058 will be closed. The diversion will then be signed along A337, B3058, A35, A326 and B3054. Site operatives will be located at closure points to advise public of extents of access during the works.

Information signs advising road users of the works will be erected before the start of works. A letter will be sent to local residents and an email will be sent to New Forest District Council to advise them accordingly.

Should you have any questions or require further information please contact the Operation Resilience team on 0845 603 5633 or email operation.resilience@hants.gov.uk


At first glance this appears an official document, however, I think we all know the nighttime road closure is for a totally different purpose.

Over the past years we have reported how excavations have taken place in local roads around Milford on Sea claiming to be gas, electric, telephone, fibre optic and drainage works etc. The reality of course, is that the 'works' are actually being done by the 'Mole Men' who have been stealthily building a subterranean town below our village.

If you are sceptical, try to recall how often you see men working at the sites. Hardly ever I suspect, and when you do, they are always from a distance, and you cannot spot that they are lifelike inflatable models.

The true short-sighted furry workers of course operate under the darkness of  night, and burrow below our houses preparing more living spaces for their community.

We have heard a rumour that the latest batch of Mole Men may actually be French (Le Mole Men), but we are unable to confirm this at this stage.

The latest 'Roadworks' (Yeah, right!) involves a road closure at night, this is so that their large pieces of furniture can be moved in without being observed.

Should you encounter a Mole Man in Hollands or a village pub, we know they do not bite, so have a chat and post a comment below to let us know what they have said.

Should you encounter a French Mole Man, do not fear, the language barrier can be overcome, as I am of course here to translate, or you can pop in to grab Lionel, our resident French chef at La Perle.  
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1 comment:

  1. I have encountered the mole men on quite a few eveings while trying to get to the South Lawns Hotel . They have all been extremely polite and helpful even resorting to escorting me with flashing hazard lights . quite exciting at 2am !!!Praps I should get out a bit more !!!

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